Abbie. 18. English. White cisgender woman. INFJ. Biromantic asexual. Intersectional feminist. Hardcore geek. Floundering emotionally. Wannabe author. Addicted to storytelling and cinematography. Fascinated by (and completely terrified of) the real world and humanity in general. Afflicted with Asperger Syndrome and an unhealthy, vaguely sinister interest in mythology, superstition and the unexplained. Multi-fandom blog.
Reblogged from spookygeofframsey
everybody fucking cut it out ok
Except the view of the average misogynist is accurate.
…How do you know this?Is it just because it’s ‘common knowledge’ that “the average misogynist is a disgusting neckbeard”?
Look, this idea is actually pretty dangerous to women as a class. People already brush off rapist men because “oh but he’s such a nice boy,” “but he’s such a funny guy,” spreading the meme that the “average misogynist” is fat and ill-groomed and is embarrassing in public
(and therefore will illicit disgust, hahahaha visceral disgust correlates with evil, this is totally not encouraging forms of bigotry that use disgust at “ugliness” to self-propagate, this is totally enlightened and progressive and not a horrifyingly medieval take on “how to tell someone is evil”)only HELPS TO HIDE the majority of misogynists, most of whom are already very good at using manipulative and abusive tactics to hide their worst qualities from society at large.
This kind of idea makes it harder to recognize that yes, that hilarious director, that actor or musician with the winning smile, really did do those horrible things.
And before anyone says it, yes I am a fucking girl. I’ve even had a guy who was, in fact, a literal brony-slash-anime-fanboy creep on me in college, getting weirdly personal-friendly with me and showing me his “waifus” when I only wanted to express a mutual interest in pastel horse worldbuilding. (Though, for accuracy’s sake, he looked more like this guy than like this guy.) But I think it’s scarier is I could have a conversation with a totally “normal” guy right afterwards, and have absolutely no idea if they saw me as a person, a vaguely sentient subhuman, or a piece of fucking meat. The socially-awkward nerd-subculture types are easy targets, but they’re not the root of misogyny, nor the most common or insidious vectors of it.
[This is in addition to, not as a replacement of, Roachpatrol’s original point, which is that it’s pretty shitty to say your idealogical enemies are ugly and loathesome-looking in order to make them them more hatable, especially whenever you rely on fatphobia to do so. You are basically saying “there is a positive correlation between being fat/ugly and being a horrible person” and that’s…messed up? I thought more people recognized this was messed up?]
Thanks, dude, this is a great take-down. Cruelty is insidious and utterly self-defeating to an equality movement—you go after the wrong targets, you start doing the easy thing instead of the right one. It’s fucked up. It’ll fuck you up. You have to keep in mind that even your enemies are people.
Asked by Anonymous
one of the most insidious things about depression is it doesn’t ‘feel’ like depression. even when you have it, you know you have it, you’ve been diagnosed—you still find yourself thinking, no, nope, this isn’t it, can’t be. it’s like the mental illness equivalent of that knight in monty python that keeps going ‘it’s a flesh wound! i’m fine, really! this is just a scratch, i’ll be up in a moment!’ even after all his limbs have been hacked off and he’s lying there helpless.
one of the most common narratives around it is that no one realizes they have depression until they start checking off what they consider to be normal aspects of their lives—and personal character flaws— against the checklist for depression symptoms. really key symptoms include:
- lack of motivation
- constant tiredness, even exhaustion
- finding no pleasure or satisfaction in activities they used to like, or that they know should feel good
- not seeing the point of doing anything
- increased and even unmanageable anxiety and fearfulness
any one of these symptoms drains away your ability to do work, cope with setbacks, overcome difficulties, or stop procrastinating. multiple symptoms create a pretty perfect storm of intertia and anxious self-loathing. you stop doing anything because it’s hard to get going, unpleasant while you’re at it, and afterwards there’s no reward. why bother, right? and when you’re always tired you get conservative of what little energy you can manage, and when you only feel emotions on the ‘empty to miserable’ spectrum you get really aversive to making mistakes. the whole mess very quickly and very insidiously loads every single thing in your life with toxic emotional baggage.
and then someone says to you— or you say to yourself, ‘stop being lazy’. and that haunts you forever. because you’re lazy! the work is so easy. everyone else does it. everyone but you, you lazy asshole, lying around all day not doing this totally easy thing that you should be able to but aren’t. you don’t have depression! of course not. mental illness is for victims, is for blameless innocent people who can’t be blamed for being so understandably sick. but you can be blamed. you have a character flaw, and it’s getting worse by the minute.
and that is how people who have been diagnosed, who have been medicated, who have been through therapy, can still spend all day hiding in bed and chewing themselves up over their failure to just somehow magically be a good, healthy, useful person, instead of treating themselves to a sick day and saying ‘yup! it’s depression. i need to be kind to myself.’